Eagles

Someone asked me this week, what do the Eagles need. My answer will surprise many: the Eagles are the easiest team to assess going into 2010. All you need to do is to watch the last 2 games of 2009 played against the Cowboys. The Eagles were blown off the ball and thoroughly manhandled in those 2 games. Look, my cousin is an Eagles fan and the abuse that Dallas was dishing out was so intense, the domination so graphic, that he had to send his 2 teenage daughters out of the room. I sincerely believe that those two games will cause the NFL and the broadcasters to institute a rating system for games much as we have for movies. Those Eagles-Cowboys games were definitely MA (RP, V).

What do the Eagles need? In a nutshell, the Eagles need everything but a QB. Given the enormity of their needs, we'll need a list to keep track of the wounded.

CRITICAL

1. Offensive Line. Again, watch the film and you'll see that the O-line and the D-line were competing for the most pathetic performance late in a season award. And Lee majors would have been better than our $63 million man up there. But I'm not bitter.

2. Defensive Line. If Felix Jones played only against the Philadelphia Eagles, he would break every single record that LT set in his prime. Now Felix is a decent back, but he's not that good. They have GOT to improve the DTs, but also, gee, it wouldn't hurt to get Cole some help up there too. Like another pro bowl DE!

Both of the lines are in critical condition and failing, and unfortunately, I don't think the Eagles have enough draft picks to shore up both sufficiently. I also don't think they're smart enough to figure it out.

SERIOUS

3. Running Back. You'll be hearing a lot of hype this spring about Lesean "Shady" McCoy being the next coming of Brian Westbrook. Yeah. Don't believe the hype because it's coming from the same people who said that the Eagles had the best off-season going into the 2009 season and picked them to be in the Superbowl. How'd that work out?

4. Shut Down Corner. Okay, okay, you're saying who doesn't have that on their list? Well, I can think of only one team: the New York Jets.

5. Premier wide receiver. Again, the peanut gallery will point to Desean and his long-TD record setting season in only his second year....and I will point to his inconsistent performance, his continued display of pronounced immaturity, and the fact that even if I admit that he is pretty good, he is all ALONE out there. I might have suggested Boldin (again) but noooo, they weren't getting on that train. They like standing at the station with their thing in their hands too much for that. Look, with Maclin sporting a full year of development and Celek now in his magical third year with the Eagles, I'm not going to call them below average as a corps. But they're not as good and deep as they need to be given the pass-heavy nature of the offensive scheme in Philly, and given the weakness of their inside running game.

So to recap, the Eagles need a bona fide between the tackles running back so that they can a) run out the clock like they weren't able to in 2008 against the Cardinals, b) keep defenses honest, which, I might add, might have single-handedly made a game out of those two shellackings they took at the hands of their arch-rivals last year, c) control the tempo and give the defense some time to rest (see a above). On D they need some serious help in the back to make up for Dawkins' departure, and finally, they need to get back the every down big play threat that they had for one year with T.O. Basically, they need T.O. without the attitude.

Draft Plan. I have not bothered to see what collection of picks the Eagles have, because if they run to form, they'll just blow it anyway. You know, like the Redskins and free agency.

Round 1. Offensive Lineman
Round 2. Offensive Lineman
Round 3. Defensive Lineman
Round 4. Defensive Lineman
Round 5. Running Back
Round 6. DB
Round 7. DE